You scream, I scream, but not just for ice cream; I scream for justice. It’s hard to believe, but the taste of your favorite ice cream could tell you a lot about the things you don’t like about yourself. That’s right. Underneath that creamy deliciousness comes a cold, hard truth: your favorite flavor can tell the world what people actually don’t like about you.
Are you ready to be teased about what you eat? Let’s get going:
Strawberry—You’re not very nice.
You appear kind, peaceful, and “harmless.” till they realize that you’re a silent judge who likes to be passive-aggressive. You smile at the person’s clothes and say, “It’s so brave of you to wear that.” Like your patience, strawberries go bad quickly.
Hazelnut—You think you’re better than everyone else when it comes to food.
You would call Nutella “normal” and say that your coffee beans only come from one spot. Your taste is great, but the way you act makes you look snooty. You look down on people who use pre-shredded cheese and advise them how to say “croissant” the right way. People might adore your taste, but deep down, they want you to take a break and have a regular donut for once.
Coffee: You say you’re “tired” all the time, but you never really do anything.
Yes, you “run on caffeine.” Yes, you’re “busy.” But what are you actually up to? Are you moving? Are you a little worried? You have a lot of energy that makes others want to do things, but you don’t always keep your promises. You like the idea of the grind, but you can’t handle even tiny deadlines. You are 30% espresso and 70% excuses.
Blueberry—You Are Emotionally Weak (and Proud of It)
You cry during commercials and think of your houseplants as “emotional support.” You are always fragile, emotional, and very in touch with your feelings. It’s nice… until people realize that making you feel better is a full-time job. Your friends can’t handle another “I’m fine” text followed by a breakdown on Instagram.
You strive too hard to be the “fun” one when you’re orange (creamsicle or sherbet).
You are loud, full of energy, and excited, but it can appear like you’re acting. You want others to like you so much that you make jokes and attempt to have fun even when they don’t want to. When you go out to brunch, you shout “Shots?!” and you can’t stop talking about it during the movie. Exhausting.
❤️ Red Velvet—You’re a Red Flag on the Move (But You Look Good Doing It)
You are dramatic, interesting, and full of contradictions. People are drawn to you like moths to a flame that is not particularly stable. You love being in love, but you also like to ghost people for fun. You post pictures of yourself that make other people want to be with you, along with long thoughts on the subject of “healing.” You could think you’re mysterious, but you’re really just a messy person with red frosting all over you.
Cherry Sorbet: You worry too much about things that don’t matter to anyone else.
There is a particular rationale, style, and way of thinking that you have that everyone should know about. You prefer being different, but your personality is mostly “main character syndrome” with a fruity twist. You’re always going on an adventure, but you also like to criticize people who are just having fun.
Key Lime Pie: You act passive-aggressively and think it’s “just being honest.”
You have a sharp, sour, and unchangeable nature, no matter what happens. You are the friend who “tells it like it is,” which usually means you make everyone in the group feel uncomfortable when you talk. You say you’re open, but they say it’s drama with citrus on top.
Mango Sorbet:You think you’re the star of the show and make everything about you.
You look daring, have a tropical mood, and are sure of your place at the party. You post a lot of selfies and a few “inspo” pictures on Instagram. You walk into every room like it’s a runway and act like you’re being filmed. People who love mangoes are full of life, but what about the shy gene? There is no location to be found.