My husband had an annoying habit during the last two years of giving me last minute spring family visits.
He casually stated that his parents or sister would be coming to drop by, which in reality, meant that I was supposed to clean, cook and entertain with little or no warning.
I condoned it to some extent. But this time it was not so.
It was a calm Saturday morning and I was having a nice relaxing time, when he entered with his typical smug look saying, My family is coming over in four hours. That will be just a thing.”
Then he gave me a list with all the things I needed to do: kitchen clean, grocery shopping, dinner and dessert, even wipe the baseboards!
I just could not believe myself.
Like a king he flopped on the couch ready to rest. In the meantime I scrambled about.
But instead of fighting I smiled and said, “Sure, I will go to the store to run.”
I then went to Target driving there with my purse. I remained there.
I ordered a latte, did some aimless roaming on the aisles and took my sweet time aimlessly doing nothing productive.
At that moment, I was not running errands to achieve someone unrealistic demands.
After a few minutes I sent him a text: I am still at the store. Traffic is wild .”
When I arrived home late the mess was splendid.
Half-cleaned rooms, kids screeching around, a burnt frozen pizza at the table, and my husbands doing everything to make store-bought cheesecake look fancy.
what was his expression at the sight of me? Priceless. Where are you? said he.
I filled the wineglass, and I said, sweetly, I was told to go to the shop. And so I went.”
Nobody helped me that evening. His mom was judgmental, although I did not care.
This was the first time I did not run myself into the ground over another person plans.
He later attempted to fight. he said, angrily, as he embarrassed me.
Stammered I: You loaded all that on me all over again, and wanted me to say gracias. This is not a partnership but a job that I did not bid.
As it turned out, unexpectedly next morning, my husband was cleaning the kitchen. By himself. Few weeks later, he questioned me whether we could also organize the second family movement.
It was not ideal but it was an opening.
What has happened since that time? He has never engaged in the last-minute hosting stunt. Lesson learned.