He drained all his retirement to purchase a Harley motorcycle worth $35,000 and didn’t think about helping me with my debt.
He saw it as his last chance to live life fully which to him meant he could skip helping his daughter solve her money problems.
For many years, he worked hard in an oily motorcycle repair shop, leaving his hands covered in grease and always smelling from the cigarettes he smoked. He made me feel ashamed in front of my friends because of his outdated tattoos and motorcycle clothes.
I assumed after selling his business he would be helpful and assist with a start on my new home.
After that, he spent all of his money on a motorcycle and lined up cross-country trips.
Facing him about it, he only chuckled and told me, “Hey, as a senior, every little problem seems like a life-ending one.”
It’s as if the number 73 gives him the excuse to not respond to me. At 42, I am busy paying bills, while he travels and enjoys the sunset like a young man.
I canceled my trips and added additional hours to my job and all I get is him congratulating himself for working on the road. Most of my friends say that people who have resources should assist their kids. However, Dad considers the trip as something he deserves after all he has achieved.
When Mom passed away, I hoped that he would mature.
She helped him stay down-to-earth. Without her, he’s ended up becoming like the person we were years ago—his beard is messy, he hangs with his biker friends and this midlife crisis is just plain silly for him at this age.
While we were having dinner last week, I discussed the matter with him. You don’t absolutely have to get a brand-new Harley. You may consider buying a simple car, proportional to your pay and lend me a hand with my condo, leaving some money for your needs too.
He responded with, “Amanda, I have been responsible for everything all my life.” I helped you pay for your higher education. Provided help when you bought your first home.
I argued, “That didn’t happen at all the other places I stayed.” I need help at this point.
He mentioned to me, “You’re a grown woman and have a job. I started my life with nothing. All the important things in our life were built by both your mom and me.
At least, you have the money now,” I pointed out. You have the possibility to transform my life.
“Yes, I already finished that,” he answered. Making every day personalized so that you are better prepared.
At that moment, I imagined Mom telling him not to waste money, so his expression became softer. He took out a picture I have not seen of Mom sitting on a motorcycle wearing a leather jacket, smiling at the camera just like I do sometimes.
Amanda, she loved riding on her bicycle. That’s the reason why we met each other. We planned it and if things weren’t as they are now, she’d be sitting next to me on the trip.”
I felt completely surprised. She seemed very different from what I expected. Dad always insisted that the story was real. “She made sure to tell me before she died that I should never give up on my goals. As a result, this trip gives us both something valuable.
A few days had gone by when I stood in his parking lot while he was packing up.
My friends drove their bikes, laughing and having a good time with drinks and laughs. He showed up with his helmet on his arm and I tried my best to convince him to reconsider.
“How is it possible that you think only of yourself?” I said. “You have a bright future while I’m barely able to survive financially.”
He seemed quite calm despite looking tired. Getting here required a lot of my effort. I’m sorry things are difficult for you at this time. However, this is something I’ve always hoped for my entire life.
He gave me an envelope at this point. At the end of my search, I found a check that would not solve my debt, but it was a good start.
He said the money comes from the sale of his equipment. I felt that they ought to continue doing things that matter.
I thought that since you were going to assist me, why did you find it necessary to argue?
“None of this was ever motivated by dollars,” was what he said. It means respecting that I am finally choosing to live my own way.
In the morning, he drove his bright new Harley out of the yard. As the motorcycles drove away, holding on to the check, I was finally questioning if I may have been wrong about Steven all this time.
In just three months, an incredible change happened.
He kept in touch by sending messages and they chatted often over the phone. With time, our chats developed from shy small talk to more significant conversations.
I started wanting to know about his experiences with riding and exploring. He said playing music was the most alive he felt in comparison to anything.
Once he came back, I went to visit him at his home. When we were opening his bags, I experienced something different inside. I didn’t notice an aged hunter seeking young love, but an individual at last finding happiness after a long life of tough choices.
The next day, I said to him,’ I should apologize for what I did. For not being able to recognize your true self.”
He smiled. Everyone has things they are unaware of, Amanda. Just knowing you are seeing me now means a lot to me.