Everybody has experienced times when they feel like they’re walking into the wind and that nothing is possible. However, such moments eventually pass for most of us.
But for Kayla Holmes, one painful memory will always be with her—every time she looks in the mirror.
Her experience is so horrific that it painfully frames our daily hardships.
Having a relationship with an older boy
Kayla had been stuck in an abusive and poisonous relationship for only a year prior to the attack.
Kayla, who was raised by a single mother, never really understood what a good relationship looked like. She was being physically and emotionally mistreated by her older lover while she was just 17.
“I was once the property of my attacker. She claims that she nearly lost everything and everyone in her life as a result of his manipulation.
However, she held onto hope when he pledged to change, like many teenagers falling in love for the first time.
She will live the rest of her life regretting that choice.
Kayla still recalls every moment of October 17, 2017, the day her world altered, as if it had occurred yesterday, despite the anguish.
On that day, her then-21-year-old ex-boyfriend Seth Aaron Fleury was unable to come to terms with the termination of their relationship. In a moment of heinous cruelty, he concluded that no one else could have her if he couldn’t.
Kayla remembered the horrifying experience in an honest and heartfelt essay on Love What Matters:
I can still recall every detail of this exact time. When I opened my camera, I was faced with very negative thoughts that appeared to get worse. Confused and scared, I sat in a pool of my own blood, most of my lip resting on my calf, my entire mouth burning, and I wasn’t sure how I would ever be able to reveal my face again. I wanted to give up for good at that point, sincerely hoping that those few seconds would be my last.
I wanted to say I was sorry.
Seth said he wanted to apologise for his actions, so Kayla had gone to visit him that October day. He thought she was there to make amends, even though she had broken up with him a few weeks prior.
Seth lost his temper when Kayla made it apparent that she had no plans to reconcile. He made an effort to kiss. He did the unimaginable when Kayla pushed away: he bit her bottom lip and tore it off.
According to her ex, he would leave his mark on her for her future partner.
Then, in order to flee what he had just done, he dragged me out of my own car and slammed the door in my face. After I finally got into the ambulance, which seemed like an eternity after seeing something that many women value so much utterly disfigured, he kept calling. Kayla remarks, “I simply don’t understand how you could be so angry.”
Many people have questioned her about why she continued to be in a relationship that had turned into a nightmare. It wasn’t always horrible, and she wants people to realise that. Her first love, Seth, made everything feel wonderful when he was kind. That was what she repeatedly held to.
Her lip needed to be reattached immediately, but the damage was too great. There was no way to save the ripped tissue. To seal the wound, surgeons had to make incisions on her cheeks.
I recall waking up, gazing up at my nurse, who was attempting to lighten the mood, and joking that at least I wouldn’t have to dress up for Halloween to frighten everyone anymore, as I could now go as myself. She nodded and laughed before bringing me a mask to hide my face. I suddenly realised that this was my new reality. I recently woke up from a serious situation. I shall never again wake up carrying on with my “normal” life.
Kayla’s face has a lengthy scar that serves as a constant reminder of what transpired that evening.
She put a lot of guilt on herself.
With time and encouragement, however, Kayla realised that it wasn’t her fault. She was never at fault. She now considers the day she refused to take Seth back to be one of the most powerful moments of her life, despite the trauma. On that day, she took back her authority.
She no longer existed to get his approval. She had regained her life.
Kayla received justice on October 18, 2018, precisely one year after the attack. Seth received a 12-year prison sentence for violent assault.
Kayla doesn’t consider herself a victim anymore. She identifies as a survivor. She also proudly displays her scar because it serves as a reminder of the strength required to live, not because it defines her.
“I’ll keep being strong and kind, and I’ll keep wearing my scars as wings.” And I’ll overcome this,” she declares.
In the midst of the mayhem, far too many individuals, men and women alike, continue to be trapped in toxic relationships and cling to the genuine moments of kindness and love.
But love shouldn’t ever cause pain, as Kayla’s experience demonstrates.
Please follow Kayla’s example if you or someone you know is living in terror or is being threatened or subjected to violence. Decide to live. Select liberty. Nobody should have to live in dread.