Love is supposed to be everywhere, but my most recent plane ride convinced me of the opposite. I’m Toby, 35 and my planned relaxed return home to see my wife and child got interrupted by two newlyweds who thought they owned the cabin.
I paid for a premium economy upgrade. Following my overseas assignment, I had grown tired and wanted to be in my own home which led me to decide on a pricier room. Not long after I sat down, my seatmate introduced himself as Dave and I felt something different was about to happen. Hey, he said with a huge smile. “I’m Dave. I’m wondering if you wouldn’t mind trading seats with my wife. I just completed my journey to becoming married to her.
I realize now that newlyweds often like to sit together. He gestured toward the back of the plane, to where his wife Lia was seated and I wasn’t sure how to respond. I spent a lot on this ticket, around a thousand Australian dollars and I was definitely glad I’d paid for a nice seat. If you decide to cover the extra cost, I’m ready to bring you the latest version,” I added. Dave lost his smile right away. So much money? This joke can’t be serious. I tried to just remain calm while shrugging. That’s the cost. If that happens, I won’t go anywhere.” Leaving, he looked straight at me and said, “You should regret what you did.”
That’s when the troubles started.
Initially, we could sense it from rough, exaggerated coughing that got everyone’s attention. Everything all right, Dave? I was genuinely concerned, so I asked. The way he looked at me told me all I had to know. Not long after, he took out his tablet and turned up the action movie as loud as it could go, without wearing headphones. When someone politely reminded him to turn it down, Dave smiled and said, “I guess it’s part of your audition.”
After that, there was the sudden arrival of snack foods. Somehow, trying to eat pretzels was like playing a sport with them, for most ended up passing through the air and lodged themselves in my lap. Dave said, “Oops, but I’m not really sorry,” as he knocked over my container. Next to no time had passed when Lia descended, sitting in Dad’s arms and whispering, as it were, unmindful that everyone was cramped together. I ground my teeth as the giggles and rude PDA took over the plane.
An hour of their crazy behavior was all it took for me to lose my cool. I told a flight attendant about what was happening—all the coughing, loud noises, snacks everywhere and sitting in laps. Even though the couple tried to joke their way out, the stewardess didn’t go along with it. It is forbidden in airline policy for an adult to sit on another’s lap, so the attendant requested Lia return to her seat. If they went against her, she finished things: “Since you did not pay extra and have made a lot of trouble, you both should go back to economy.”
The feeling as I walked through my neighbor’s yard was wonderful. With no smile on their faces, Dave and Lia walked by me and I waved pleasantly along the way. I wish you a wonderful honeymoon time. Though Dave glared, he did not respond.
So I thought peace had come to stay again.
About one hour after takeoff, the plane began to run into turbulence. The sign came on and a short while later, the back of the bus got noisy. Lia kept asking from the back seat to use the restroom. A flight attendant convinced Lia this wasn’t necessary, but Lia claimed it was urgent and kept walking forward, followed by Dave.
No matter how many times they came, I would plant myself in their way. You two were supposed to be hanging back with me, weren’t we? I made sure everyone in our section could hear what I was saying. Both of them begged, said it was important and still tried to win me over with their talk. Afterward, I left but let the flight attendant know that the reason these two had been told to sit in economy was because of past disruptions.
It wasn’t long for the attendant’s judgment to return. The original stewardess got back on board just as the prank was happening and she clearly wasn’t happy. Take your seats again. From now on, she said. The couple could not find any words. Or else, I’m thinking we can bring in the air marshal, she suggested. That made them start to move.
For the rest of the flight, it was peacefully quiet. As soon as we were going down, a flight attendant brought me a whiskey and cola. With a wink, she said, “No charge for you.” “It’s because of your patience that I made it in time.” I held up my glass to make a toast. “I wish you a peaceful flight and wish you good karma.” A few people in the crowd near me said, “Hear, hear!”
As soon as we landed in Los Angeles, the bad memories were gone. I gathered what I had, thanked the crew and left the plane keeping my head up. While I was leaving, I noticed Dave and Lia looking red and not making eye contact. I just had to do it. Hope you all took something away from this. Have a wonderful honeymoon. Dave didn’t open his mouth.
I was once more at home without even noticing how it happened. There were big smiles from my wife and child at the gate, calming me right after my ordeal on the aircraft. Finally, my efforts at good manners and a touch of turmoil made the airplane land before her evil plan did.