I still clearly recall how nervous I was about informing my parents I was dating for the first time.
How would people perceive it? What would my father think? Would people think less of my choice?
Naturally, my worries were unfounded because my parents accepted the boy I was seeing without asking any questions. They were pleased as long as I was.
Unfortunately, some parents are more open-minded than others. Based on factors like skin colour or religion, some parents may even be pleased or dissatisfied with the people their kids are dating.
That’s perhaps why so much attention has been paid to one mother’s answer to a text regarding the person her daughter was seeing.
Someone texted Heather Boyer to let her know that her daughter was seeing someone. Boyer acknowledges that it took her some time to figure out how to respond appropriately to the message, but you’ll probably see why after reading the relevant text.
Her comment, which she shared with Love What Matters, has gone viral on the internet.
Heather’s reaction
“My kid updated her profile photo today. I receive a text after five minutes or so that says, “I didn’t know she was dating a Black boy, did you?”
I spent the entire day coming up with an answer, which I thought I would post for anyone else who “may not know” but didn’t respond directly.
“Yes, I was aware of that, but his skin tone doesn’t define who he is. His treatment of my daughter is what truly defines him.
“I see my daughter dating a boy who visits my house and treats me with the utmost respect, which is very important to me.” He always says “yes” or “no,” we discuss baseball and football, he bids me farewell when he departs, and he has never once treated me disrespectfully or with a lack of etiquette.
“I see my daughter with a good-natured boy. He takes her out to eat, to baseball games, and on dates. not going out to clubs or having parties on the weekends.
“I see my daughter going to church with a boy she’s dating. each Sunday. She sits with his family as he plays in the band. How many young men prioritise religion these days? The others haven’t.
He doesn’t make her cry, strike her, swear at her, or lie to her. To prevent her from dating someone of a different race, would I rather that she date a white boy who did? Not at all.
That concludes my answer to the query posed to me. The fact that my kid has someone who loves her and treats her like a queen makes me pleased, even if I am aware that everyone has different opinions. I’m happy she has that because I’ve never had it in my life.
Excellent illustration
We applaud you, Heather, for your amazing reaction. The world would be a much nicer and more equitable place to live if everyone adhered to the same values.
We yearn for a day when people are assessed on their actions and how they treat others rather on their race, religion, heritage, or faith.
We hope the future holds nothing but the best for Heather’s daughter and her boyfriend! We’re glad the two of you have connected.