I couldn’t help but feel a rush of old memories as I sat down to look through my old school pictures. It had been twenty years since…
I couldn’t help but feel a rush of old memories as I sat there looking through my old school pictures. It had been twenty years since I graduated, yet viewing the photographs gave the impression that it had only occurred recently.
There I was, young Pomeline Hale, wearing that foolish, wide-eyed smile and a sentimental phrase I once believed was profoundly meaningful beneath my yearbook photograph:
“Two people are needed to make love real.”
I laughed at how stupid I had been back then, but the laugh quickly faded when I saw his picture. Dorian Reed. The person I was crushing on in high school. He was the person who captured my heart for years.
Back then, I was crazy about Dorian. I would leave little notes in his locker, try to flirt with him in a clumsy way, and even sneak valentines into his bag when I thought no one would see.
I was sure that he was the one and that we would be together.
I could see our life so clearly, even the day we got married. But here I was, 38 years old, still single, and still trying to figure out what had gone wrong.
Why did Dorian just stop talking to me right before graduation? He had ghosted me without saying a word, and I was lost and heartbroken.
I hadn’t said a word to him since then, but the pain of it still hurt, just as much as it did then.
As my thoughts drifted into hypothetical scenarios, the sound of the doorbell jolted me back to reality.
I set down the photo album and approached the door. Kerensa, my best friend, was standing there with her usual big smile on her face.
“Ready for the class get-together, girl?” she asked, and her buzz started right away.
I stopped and leaned against the doorframe.
“Kerensa, to be honest, I’m not sure I want to go.”
She raised an eyebrow, clearly confused.
“Why not?” What’s going on?
I took a deep breath.
“I was just going through some old photos, and it brought up many things. You know, the one about Dorian.
Kerensa rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
“Who is Dorian Reed? After 20 years, you’re still stuck on that?
“I know it sounds silly,” I said, feeling my cheeks get hot.
“But it still hurts.” We were so close, but then he just left like I didn’t matter.
Kerensa moved in closer and put a warm hand on my shoulder.
“Hey, he might not even come tonight.” And if he does, don’t let it ruin your fun. Not for bringing up old wounds, but for reconnecting with old friends and having fun.
I forced a smile to get rid of the doubts.
“You’re right.” But if he’s there… I’ll make sure he sees what he let go.
Kerensa smiled a lot.
“That’s my girl.”
The whole way to the reunion, I was on edge. I kept looking out the window and drumming my fingers on my knee. I was in the middle of a storm of feelings.
What if Dorian showed up? What if he didn’t? I wasn’t sure which would hurt more.
My heart was heavy in my throat, and the closer we got, the harder it was to breathe.
As we got there, I looked in the rearview mirror one last time to fix my hair and smooth out my dress.
I couldn’t get rid of the jitters that were holding me down.
“You look great, Pomeline.” Kerensa said in a soft but firm voice, “Stop worrying about Dorian. This night is yours.”
“Okay, we’re going to have a great time.”
I smiled weakly at her, but the knot in my stomach wouldn’t go away. “Thanks,” I mumbled, still playing with my hem.
“But what if he doesn’t show up? I feel stupid for getting so upset about this. Kerensa, it’s been a long time.
Kerensa rolled her eyes like I had said something crazy and said, “You’re not dumb.”
“Truth is, if he shows up, don’t waste your breath on him.” We make this about us, not him, and let him see what he missed.
Her spark lit mine, and for a moment, I felt more stable. We got out and headed for the door, but every step sped up my heart race.
The school came into view, and a flood of memories—good and bad—came back to me. I couldn’t believe I was going back to that old world.
It was like going back in time at the reunion. Old friends waved us over. Some of them I had not seen in a long time, and some of them I scarcely knew at present.
Friends told stories and discussed the good old days, and laughter filled the air. I started to relax and even enjoy it until I saw him.
Dorian Reed.
When I saw him across the room, my heart skipped a beat. He looked different—older, yes, but he still had that rough charm I remembered.
He had a neat beard, and as soon as our eyes met, he smiled. A real, easy one that caught me off guard. All the buried anger and questions came rushing up.
Why did he shut me out back then? Why leave me with nothing?
Kerensa grabbed my arm and pulled me the other way, gently but firmly, before I could move or even clean up the mess inside.
“Stick to what I said,” she whispered, her voice steady. “Don’t talk.”
“Okay,” I said, trying to follow her lead, but part of me screamed to face him and get the answers I’d been waiting for for years.
Later that night, after we talked to more old classmates, Kerensa spilled her drink all over her skirt. “Ugh!” she yelled, looking at the wet spot.
“This was new!” “Wait a minute, Pomeline. I need to clean the mess up.”
I saw her run to the bathroom, leaving me alone for the first time that night.
I looked around and felt a little lost without Kerensa. The party went on with music and laughter, but all of a sudden I needed air.
I didn’t think about it; I just slipped out to the quiet bench in the schoolyard, my old favorite hiding place.
It was the place where I would sit after school and daydream or write notes. It felt like the right place to clear my head tonight.
I seated myself, closed my eyes briefly, and permitted the cool night air to caress me.
I remembered a lot about high school, like how free and hopeful I had been. Then the ones that are Dorian. I shook my head and tried to get them to let go, but they wouldn’t.
I heard footsteps behind me all of a sudden. I blinked and turned to see Dorian coming over. His smile made his face look bright.
“Hey, Pomeline,” he said in a warm but careful voice.
“Dorian,” I said, my heart racing. “It’s been a long time.”
“It has,” he said, stopping a few feet from the bench. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk.” You’ve been avoiding me all night.
I laughed nervously, but my words got stuck. “It wasn’t clear you wanted to after how senior year ended.”
Dorian looked perplexed. “How did it end?” I thought you were going to leave after that note.
“Note?” I said it again, my brow furrowing. “I never saw a note, Dorian.”
He sighed, and his face got serious.
“I wrote you a note asking you to go to the park with me.” I put it in your locker, and when you didn’t show up, I thought it was a no-go. I thought that’s why you left.
I shook my head in disbelief.
“Dorian, I didn’t get a note. I thought you were done. I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong.
More steps could be heard before Dorian could answer. Kerensa came in looking shaken, with red cheeks.
“What’s this talk?” She asked, her voice shaky in a way I hadn’t heard before.
I said slowly, “Kerensa,” and things started to make sense. “Do you know about Dorian’s note to me?”
Her face turned white, and for a moment, she looked like she was going to brush it off. But Dorian took action.
“Kerensa, you gave me her answer. She said she passed.
I looked at Kerensa, and my stomach dropped when I saw the shame in her eyes. “Is that true?” I asked, my voice shaking.
Kerensa looked down, her face hot with shame and regret. “I… got jealous,” she said in a low voice.
“I liked Dorian, but I didn’t want you two to get together. I thought you’d let go if the note stayed hidden.
My chest hurt with a mix of shock and anger.
“You fooled both of us?” “Jealousy ruined everything?”
“I’m sorry,” Kerensa said in a whisper, her eyes filling up. “I never thought it would last this long.” I just didn’t want to lose you either.
“Get lost, Kerensa,” I said, my voice shaking from years of pain.
When Kerensa left, I felt a mix of sadness, anger, and relief.
Dorian moved closer and hugged me gently with his arms. I leaned in and felt the warmth I had missed for so long.
I whispered, my voice breaking, “I thought you didn’t care all this time.”
Dorian sighed and spoke softly. “Same thing about you.”
We stood there for a moment, quiet, holding on, and letting the old weight slowly slip away.
Dorian said, “We can’t change the past, but we can choose what’s next.”
I looked up at him and smiled through my tears. “You’re right.”
We talked and laughed on that old bench for the rest of the night. We had already wasted a lot of time, but I was sure we wouldn’t waste any more.