It was a usual, quiet afternoon at the mall. There were a lot of people coming and departing, but commerce was slow. I was thinking of closing early so I wouldn’t have to deal with the traffic on the way home. That was when it happened.
A gorgeous woman walked right up to me, her eyes shining and her stride full of confidence. “Please,” she continued, staring me in the eye, “I’m looking for a one-night stand.”
I am a gentleman, but I am not composed of stone. You might say “Billybob” and the business was closed, the lights were off, and the door was locked.
I took her away because I felt it would be the happiest night of my life. We first went to a nearby tavern that was nice and welcoming and had great drinks. We enjoyed dinner at a nice restaurant that had cloth napkins, candlelight, and all the other things you would expect. After that, we went to a club I know that had a great floor show and live jazz music, which made the atmosphere even better.
We spoke, danced, and laughed for hours. She was smart, charming, and full of surprises. Finally, I brought her home with me. And because I’m a gentleman of discretion, I won’t say what happened next. Some things are better left to your imagination.
When the light came up the next morning and shone through the blinds, I smiled at her and thought about how proud I was of the night I had planned. I leaned forward and murmured, “How was that?”
She blinked a few times, yawned, and responded, “Oh, it was great.” But I still don’t know where to put my light.
My smile went away. “Your lamp?” I asked.
She nodded. “Yes, I wanted to sleep with you for one night. Do you know what a nightstand is for? For my light? She looked around the room by turning her head. “That’s why I went to your store to get furniture.”
And that’s how I got the wrong idea about a customer, my pals. and gave her the best lunch and show she never asked for.