A 90-year-old woman visits to the doctor.
“Dr. I can’t stop passing gas. They don’t smell or make noise, but I can’t stand it anymore.”
“Take these pills every day and come back in a week.”
“Doctor, what did you do to me?” “I’m still farting, and now they smell too!”
“Okay, now let’s talk about your hearing…”
A nice, respectable woman with a nice smell of perfume got on the bus and sat next to me.
After a while, I gathered the nerve to ask her, “Excuse me, lady, could you please tell me what this perfume is called and where you got it?” I want to buy one for my wife.
“It’s Chanel, and it comes from Paris,” the woman remarked.
About ten minutes later, I felt a big wind in my stomach, so I carefully blew it out.
A few seconds later, she started to cry and said, “Oh my God, what is that smell?”
I said, “Garlic, and I’m from Gilroy, California.”
There was an extremely gorgeous young woman dining in a nice restaurant one night.
She was still feeling full from lunch, so she was scared to fart in front of her date, who hadn’t arrived yet.
She didn’t wait long before she let one out, but she was able to cover it up with a fake cough.
She kept waiting for her date to show up, but she wanted to make sure everything was perfect.
She bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, and just as the waiter comes over, she lets out a loud fart.
She sits up straight, embarrassed, and red-faced, and then she turns to the waiter and shouts, “Stop that!”
The waiter looks at her with a dry expression and says,
“Of course, ma’am.” What way was it going?
A man in his 80s goes to the doctor because his leg hurts and won’t mend. He wants to know what’s wrong and why it happened. The doctor checks his leg, but he can’t detect anything wrong. He gives the old guy a comprehensive medical exam, but he still can’t figure out what’s causing the agony.
The doctor delivers the patient his bill and explains, “I’m sorry, but your leg hurts because you’re getting older.” I can’t do anything about it.
The old man looks surprised and adds, “That’s not possible!” That can’t be!
The doctor says, “What do you mean?” I’m the one who knows what to do. How can you say it’s not old age if you know so much?
The patient says, “I’m not a doctor, but I can tell that your diagnosis is wrong.” You are wrong. My other leg is fine, after all.
“What’s the point?” the doctor wonders. “Why does that matter?”
“Well, it doesn’t hurt at all, and it’s the same age!”