An old man and woman who hated each other were married for years.
People could hear them screaming and yelling all night long when they battled. The neighbors who were most scared of the man kept hearing the same thing. “When I die, I’ll dig my way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life!”
They thought he was a dark magician who was behind the vanishing animals, barking dogs, and unusual noises at all hours. People were scared of him, and he relished the respect it gave him.
The casket was closed at the funeral, and he died in a bizarre and unexpected way. After the burial, the wife went straight to the bar and started drinking like there was no tomorrow.
Her actions were getting more and more strange, and a lot of her neighbors came up to her and asked, “Aren’t you scared?” Are you worried? Are you scared? Do you worry that this man, who practiced black magic, said he would dig his way out of the grave after he died and haunt you for the rest of your life?
She dropped her cup and said, “Let the old bastard dig.” I put him in the ground upside down.
One night, an older couple was in bed.
The wife wanted to talk, but her husband was already asleep.
“You used to hold my hand when we were dating,” she said.
He reached over, held her hand for a moment, and then tried to go back to sleep.
“Then you used to kiss me,” she said a little while later.
He was a little upset, so he kissed her on the cheek and went to sleep.
“Then you used to bite my neck,” she said thirty seconds later.
He got out of bed and angrily threw the bedclothes back.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get my teeth!”
My granny and I
We were walking toward the United Nations Building in New York City when we observed a street preacher trying to get people’s attention.
He advised the people around him to get away from the anger that was coming.
He cried, “I warn you, there will be crying, wailing, and grinding of teeth!”
A cruel old woman in the crowd exclaimed, “Sir, I don’t have any teeth!”
“Lady,” the pastor remarked, “you will get teeth!”