As we age, we go on a path replete with experiences, confidence, and wisdom. But when notions about what makes someone beautiful evolve, the way women over 50 date can alter too. Dating after midlife should be fun again, but there are still bothersome assumptions that men don’t want to date older women. By knowing these beliefs, women may go forward, influence how society thinks, and live life on their own terms.
Women over 50 can also use these ideas to stand up to bigotry and show how strong they are. Here are 15 common “turn-offs” with examples, proof, and simple fixes. There are helpful ideas for each trait because development, not apologies, is what keeps partnerships strong.
1. Stuck or changing?
Men think that grown-up partners don’t want to change, try new things, or do things on the spur of the moment. People say that women over 50 are fixed in their ways and that “stubborn habits” are routines that don’t change. Having a routine and being stable, on the other hand, are signals that you have power and control. Many women over 50 make changes to their lives, such as getting a new career, going on vacation, or learning new skills. Even though some people assume they don’t, women over 50 do want to change. Studies show that women over 50 in the US are starting businesses at a far higher rate than before.
2. Living in the past versus living in the present
Most people who want to get married don’t want to talk about their exes. If you talk about an ex or joyful times from the past a lot, it means you are trapped in the past. Talking about joyful times with someone may help you get closer to them, but talking about the past too much can make it tougher to make new acquaintances. Tell your partner about your fondest memories, but also create plans to develop new and exciting ones together in the future. Partners prefer to talk about the past and the future at the same time. This is a trait that would undoubtedly turn off any relationship, not just guys.
3. Putting your health and happiness first
This wrong perception stems from an old idea that backs up what men think is “attractive.” Women are taking more and more control of the story as emotions throughout the world change. Taking care of yourself and putting your health and fitness first today means doing things that are beneficial for you, not just what makes other people happy.
But older adults who don’t get enough sleep, eat healthily, or exercise lose even more of their already low energy. According to research, only 14% of those over 65 meet the government’s fitness guidelines.
A lot of women over 50 are going to the gym more often, joining health programs, and staying active, even though they don’t work out as much as they used to. More individuals are doing this since being active is good for your health and helps you live longer. Women over 50 care more about their health and taking care of themselves than they do about how they look. They do this to lower the health hazards that come with getting older.
4. Nature’s beauty vs. expressing yourself
A lot of guys assume that heavy makeup “ruins” the way women look naturally, but they can’t tell the difference between lip gloss and lipstick. They say it hides who a woman really is. Experts in beauty argue that social media makes older people feel like they have to hide their age a lot. Women over 50 can also feel more secure and able to speak their thoughts with makeup. Choose styles that you enjoy first, such a bright lip color or skin that is well-moisturized and naked. Confidence is more important than makeup, and having your own style demonstrates creativity.
5. It’s crucial to be hopeful.
Being pessimistic all the time will ruin your relationship with your partner and influence how you act. Anyone who is negative will wind up alone, avoiding others, and losing connection with people they care about. But you don’t need to hide tragedy or keep your pain to yourself to look beautiful. On the other side, being happy can help you live longer.
Positive psychology research shows that those who think positively have stronger relationships and communicate better. Every day, write down things you’re glad for, express good news out loud, and most importantly, stop browsing through bad news. People who want to talk to you in a helpful way instead of a draining way will be drawn to you if you have a positive attitude and positive energy.
6. Being on your own
For thousands of years, ideas about what men and women should do have evolved a lot. “Old-fashioned” or traditional gender roles are no longer in use. Most women over 50 today have steady jobs, money, and opinions. Women are more socially independent than they used to be, but there is still a lot of work to do. Some guys think that a woman is emotionally unavailable because she is independent. But this proves that a woman doesn’t need a partner; she wants one.
7. Getting older and feeling pleased about who you are
Women have been bombarded with commercials for years that underline how young they look. These ads that never stop telling women they should appear younger make them doubt themselves and put themselves down. But 61% of people over 40 still think that sex is a crucial aspect of intimate relationships. Instead of seeing aging as a burden, see it as experience and embrace your wisdom. Say things that make you proud instead of putting yourself down. It’s very beautiful to be honest with yourself and know what you’re good at and what you’re not.
8. Keeping your interest and curiosity up
A long-held assumption that sexual activity goes down around age 50. But the truth is that a lot of older people, even those in their 70s and 80s, are still interested in sex and adventure. Jon Hopkins’s research indicated that more than half of women over 50 said they were still having sex.
Your estrogen levels diminish as you become older and go through menopause. This can make you less interested in sex. But bringing back sexual desire isn’t necessarily a bodily thing. Set up walks, dance lessons, or romantic weekends to get your motivation back. Passion comes from attitude, not the year you were born, and shared enthusiasm makes chemistry.
9. Communicating and Making Connections in Old Age
Setting up clear and useful ways to talk to each other, since bad listening or unclear advice can make people angry. It’s very vital to make time for connecting and to build relationships. Studies on emotional support for families show that talking openly with each other improves mental health and relationships. Say things like “I feel” and ask others to be honest. It’s better to be straightforward than to imagine your spouse can read your mind. Be honest, clear, and to the point. You care about your time and theirs. Be honest about how you feel, but also give other people room.
10. Not moving around much
You can wind yourself alone if you don’t get up and move. Not getting enough exercise, especially as you get older, could make you more likely to have heart disease, even if you are a healthy weight. Being alone more often also makes you more likely to get disorders linked to dementia, including Alzheimer’s. It’s also challenging to meet new people, explore new places, and have deep conversations when you live this way. Take time to stretch, run errands on foot, or work in the garden. Being able to move around implies you’re ready for a shared journey, and as you get older, it lowers your overall health risk.
11. Digital Disconnect
A lot of guys say they desire a partner that isn’t always on their phone or busy with social media. But if you don’t employ new ways to talk to people, you won’t fare as well in the modern dating game. You may connect with people and make friends by getting better at using technology and trying out new ways to talk to them. Especially in today’s environment, when a lot of people are busy and feel alone a lot of the time.
12. Posting too much on social media
Don’t be that Gen X uncle who publishes fake news or personal turmoil on social media. Taking a lot of selfies might also be a symptom that someone is self-centered. Researchers suggest that oversharing on social media can be a sign that someone wants attention and can cause difficulties including cyberbullying and security issues. When you curate postings, be careful and protect people’s privacy. You don’t have to share everything you record online. Having a controlled online presence demonstrates that you are discreet, which is something that many long-term partners admire.
13. Problems with money
Not being honest about money or not making a budget could hurt your relationship. Hiding debt or disregarding shared financial goals can hurt even the best relationships. Researchers found that 55.6% of the couples who took part claimed that money problems were the reason they got divorced. Talk about your finances jointly, set clear limits on how much you may spend, and if you need help, talk to a good financial counselor. Being honest about things demonstrates that you are responsible and makes it easier to plan things together.
14. Not being available emotionally
You won’t be able to get close to somebody if you keep your walls up and shield your heart. No matter how old or young you are, or what gender you are, being walled off can make you feel emotionally distant and make your partner feel like they don’t want you. Psychologists have linked emotional unavailability to persistent cycles of failed relationships and enduring loneliness. But putting someone in a weak position won’t help. Over time, talking to each other leads to real openness.
To evolve, you need to accept your feelings, look someone in the eye, and tell your own stories at your own pace. Be honest about how you feel and listen closely. Being polite and kind makes people trust you, changes one-way interactions into two-way ones, and attracts those who want real, mutual closeness.
15. Too many things to do and not enough time to do them
It takes time and work to make friends. If you have too much to do, you don’t have time for love. Say no to jobs that aren’t necessary, do your audit duties, and set aside a few hours each week. providing your spouse space in your schedule shows them that you value their time and are thankful that they are providing it to you.
Final Thoughts
Each of the traits above gives you a chance to change course instead of an excuse to say you’re sorry. You can also utilize most of these features on people of other genders. Women over 50 have a lot of intriguing stories, skills, and knowledge. Things that appear like turn-offs might become intriguing when you look at them with curiosity and a sense of power. Being real, healthy, open, and hopeful is always appealing, no matter how old you are.