Late one rainy night, a woman heard strange noises coming from the hallway. She got out of bed softly and looked around. She spotted her teenage son getting dressed and holding an umbrella.
“Where do you think you’re going at night and in this weather?” She requested in a really strict way.
Her kid looked up and said, “I’m going to see Dad.”
“Not at all!” You are only 15. “Get back to bed right now!”
He let out a sigh and went back to his room.
The hallway was loud again an hour later. The mother, who was becoming a little angry, went to look again, and there he was, with a coat and an umbrella.
“Where do you think you’re going now?” She screamed.
“To see Dad, Mom!”
She led him to his room. “Stop holding that umbrella and go back to sleep!”
He shook his head and said, “I hope Dad has a backup plan, because I don’t see how he can get home without one!”
A couple in their 40s who loved each other had three kids. Two of them were adults and lived alone, but their youngest, a cute and curious 10-year-old boy, still slept with them at night. That night, while they were putting him to bed, they asked him, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
The boy smiled and said, “I want to have five wives.” One will sing, one will cook for me, and one will help me wash my hair.
The mother smiled and continued, “And one will put you to bed at night?”
“No, Mommy,” the little one said softly, shaking his head. “I’ll still sleep with you.”
Mom’s eyes were full with happy tears. “Bless your heart, dear.”
“But what about your five wives?” she remarked in a quiet voice. Who will be there for them at night?
The boy thought for a second and then responded, “That’s easy—Dad can do it.”
Dad’s face was now wet with tears. “God bless you, son.”
One day, a science teacher asked her class an unusual question: “Kids, if you could have one thing in the world that was worth a lot of money, what would it be?”
One girl raised her hand and said, “I’d choose gold!” I could get a fancy car because it’s nice and costs a lot.
“Platinum!” said another boy. Not as common as gold. I’d get a sporty car!
After that, the teacher stared at Little Johnny. “And how about you, Johnny?”
“Silicone,” Johnny muttered as he leaned back in his chair.
“Silicone?” the teacher asked. “Why that?”
“There has been a Porsche or a Corvette parked in our driveway almost every day since my mom got one!” Johnny said.
A baby was playing and talking happily on the living room floor one afternoon. “Come on, buddy,” the dad said as he bent down next to him. “Say ‘Daddy.'”
The infant smiled and said, “Mommy.”
Dad laughed and answered, “No, no.” “Say ‘Dad’ now.”
The baby looked confused and then exclaimed, “Crap!”
Dad blinked. “What did you just say?”
The baby giggled. “Shit!”
Mom came in at that point. “Hey, sweetheart, I’m back!”
The baby’s eyes were shining. “Shit!”
Mom paused. “Excuse me? How did you find out that word?
The baby pointed at Dad, not comprehending what he was doing. “Daddy!”