If that’s what turns your partner on, the experience of being asked to do it from behind might bring you some curiosity and interest. It’s normal to wonder if you seek out the same types of partners because you like the sex or because of something else such as a wish for something deeper in your relationships. Though it might look like a regular sexual request, there are usually deeper things happening. Discovering why this happens can make you feel curious and might improve your relationship by raising intimacy and communication.
One reason many people choose this role is because it includes physical contact. It provides many people with deeper penetration, new angles during sex and increased closeness. Possessing rhythm and control are common for the penetrating person and the receiving person may enjoy access to their G-spot or prostate. These feelings are definitely strong and for a number of couples, they use this position reliably to feel on the edge of pleasure. However, when a partner only wants one position, you might want to learn what motivates them.
Human sexuality experts believe that intimacy is affected by memories, feelings and the stories people hold in themselves. For some, this position is pleasurable because it gives one partner the feeling of being in charge which may be part of what makes erotic play fun for both. Having little direct eye contact can make the space between people seem different or more intense. Some partners find that taking this role can mean giving up the urge to control, escaping the pressure of results or enjoying stress-free body sensations, without needing to worry about facial reactions.
Not surprisingly, for a few people, consistently choosing this position can comfort them emotionally. Because some people find it difficult to be close emotionally, being direct about sex is sometimes an easier and more helpful option. It’s possible that such a change is fine and just means building closeness in a new way. To some people, being emotionally intimate means being completely understood and loved by someone which is why expressing that with physical touch may seem more intuitive than expressing it verbally.
Having actual experiences makes this topic more meaningful. According to one partner, he took the top position because he felt like he could please his partner more effectively. She noted that in this position she stopped worrying about her body image and could connect easily with her pleasure. They talk about how wide and personal sexual tastes can be. They aren’t usually explained by a single cause; they usually involve their physical reaction, past emotional memories and how relationships play a role.
Try to be open and interested when learning about your partner’s wishes. If you engage in a conversation that is fair and full of understanding, you can find real insights. A good way to learn more is to ask, “What really makes you feel good in that type of position?” or “How do you react whenever we’re in that position?” The important thing isn’t just the answer but creating an environment in which partners feel comfortable sharing what they want and how they feel.
Studying the mind behind sexual needs isn’t about getting too serious—it helps us strengthen our bonds and discover what we both enjoy. Whether your favorite position stays or gets mixed in with others, knowing the role it plays for your partner makes your intimacy more special. It is meant to expose these hidden patterns and offer couples tools to understand the blend of body, mind and heart that is important in their connection.