Mia talked me into going on a blind date with Eric, her boyfriend’s friend. She said he was a gentleman—well-mannered, considerate, and worth a shot. And to be honest, our dinner date seemed to show she was right. He gave me roses, pulled out my chair, and even provided me a little keychain with my name on it. We talked freely, he paid for the whole lunch without a second thought, and he walked me to my car safely. As I drove home, I thought that maybe, just maybe, the affair could turn out well.
The next morning, I got an email from him that made my phone ring. I grinned, thinking I would receive a nice message. Instead, I received a meticulously prepared invoice. He had included the costs of supper, flowers, the “personalized gift,” and something he called “emotional effort owed.” At the bottom, he included a letter that made it sound like I owed him “reciprocation” in the shape of additional dates, or else he would tell his friend Chris that I was ungrateful. The nice man from last night now looked a lot more like a walking red flag.
I sent Mia everything, and she told Chris right away. Both were appalled, and to be honest, they found it amusing how stupid he was. Chris made a funny “invoice” for Eric, saying he was rude, manipulative, and, as the paper said, “a full-service embarrassment in public.” As soon as Eric got it, he sent me a slew of texts, first saying it was a joke, then calling me sensitive, and last saying I had “missed out on a great guy.”
I put him on hold. No reason given. No argument. Only silence. He looked to be most upset about losing an audience. Mia, on the other hand, couldn’t stop saying sorry for the setup. But really? I was thankful. It’s better to find out what a man is really like on the first date than to squander months finding out that he thinks kindness is something you owe him.
What was the most humorous aspect of our encounter? He worked all night to make himself appear good. Instead, that bill showed who he really was: someone who considers love like an obligation and dating like a purchase. I didn’t feel bad. I was glad. People who keep track of minor acts of kindness aren’t seeking love; they’re looking for control.
When people ask me about my worst date, I smile and respond, “The one who charged me for dinner.” Every time, it makes people laugh. But the true irony is that he thought the assurance he gave me was my duty. What did it really buy? My clarity—and my fast getaway.